written by Quin Buck, Seed Saver Coordinator
the onward and the forward,
aren’t intrinsically linked.
there is an onward, but no forward
& vice versa/etcetera. neither, and
none of this, means we are stuck
in a holding pattern of grief.
there are many ways, we can move
forward & yet, not onward.
as the sun draws water up to the heavens
in our grief, we too, can become cyclical.
laboured to grieve an uncertain future
distrust is the heel in the soil, denying our forward.
consumed by the amenity of our grief
onward is a privilege only the ancestors know.
interdependent – the onward & the forward,
we/they, are meant to be together.
interconnected – the grieving and the healing,
you/i, a recurrent promise of hope.
yet, they, moving onward & moving forward – take.
the onward takes care
– of our bodies, of our communities, of our spirits.
the forward takes hope
– for our selves, for our ceremonies, for our futures.
so, take, time and space – to root ourselves
in care and hope; bearing abundant wisdoms.
maybe/perhaps/imaginably that is the seed
pressed firmly into the earth. are we seeking to
create space in the prairie sky, wide enough
to distribute our grief. have we salted the earth,
the tears of an ocean. lamenting beneath
a mourning sun. allowing bereavement
an about-face + consenting
to taking the time to truly change.
“I wanted to share a sort-of meditation I was having around grief. what manifested, was this seed that was grown from conversations about grieving that people I love were experiencing. nurtured by how personal and communal grief can feel – many of their stories are here. healing is a life’s work, and grief is experienced many ways. may we learn in the grace that grief offers us, drawing into and upon one another, rooted by connection.” – quin buck
Quin Buck is a two-spirit paskwâwiyiniw (plains cree) nehiyâw from onihcikiskwapiwinihk (Saddle Lake, Alberta). Quin’s passions revolve around photography, storytelling and how we can challenge systems using narrative tools. Integrating lessons learned through community building, leadership development and working with stories – their practice centres Indigenous brilliance, radical self-love and different ways of knowing. You can find them creating art, getting lost in a book, or wandering through the woods with their dog. They acknowledge that gender is a broad spectrum that encompasses many powerful lived experiences, as such, Quin uses they/them pronouns.
Follow Quin on Instagram @apisimosis